Thirteen tall tales about the role facial hair has played in athletics and competition over the years, Sporting Moustaches puts the “ache” in “moustache.” Whiskers are wrapped around sticks, bats, clubs, paddles, chess pieces, and shotglasses, woven into ropes, nets, arrow strings, and even other whiskers. The stories touch on the idea of the playoff beard, superstitions, Movember, The Cleveland Curse, mid-20th century American values eschewing all but the clean shaven, and how in the 1978 Chess World Championship the opponents accused each other of using psychic powers. There are of course more than a few allusions to Burt Reynolds. Packed with puns and pop culture references galore, Sporting Moustaches is a tribute to those who kept their head in the game.
Notices
“Welcome to a world of facial-hair-happy sports and other twisted competitions. Meet characters named Ya-Ya and Cheeks Redbourne, see chest hair shaped like a V, watch stadiums sell moustache-inspired ‘Ba Juice,’ and decide whether the VPM (Very Powerful Mustache) award is as important as MVP. Aug Stone can twirl a tale like Rollie Fingers grooming his handlebar, resulting in stories that are smooth, hilarious, and not at all in need of a trim.”
—Marc Masters, author of High Bias: The Distorted History of the Cassette Tape
“Puns, double meanings, and wordplay abounds in Stone’s stories of arcane athletic contests whose outcomes are affected by extraordinary facial hair.”
—Jim Ruland, author of Make It Stop
“These stories are elegant and whimsically cracked and together they form a secret hall of fame for some lost and unforgettable legends.”
—Jim Gavin, creator of Lodge 49 and author of Middle Men
“The brazen pun in the title makes clear that Stone’s book is here to play, subtlety be damned. In fact, so exuberantly madcap are the stories that when read continuously, Sporting Moustaches feels like being gently bludgeoned by a tender lunatic…. there’s no let up…. Relax, read as and when the humour takes you, and forget rules. Just enjoy the sweet derangement….”
—Simon Demetriou, in Cyprus Mail
“Aug Stone explores the absurd place where sports and facial hair collide, and it’s like nothing you’ve read before.”
Aug Stone is a writer, musician, & comedian. His 2023 novel, The Ballad Of Buttery Cake Ass, was one of Vulture’s Best Comedy Books Of The Year. Aug is also author of the memoir Nick Cave’s Bar and the comedy novel Off-License To Kill, and his journalism has appeared in The Quietus, The Comics Journal, Under The Radar, and many more sites and magazines. Aug was a founding member of H Bird and The Soft Close-Ups, and has played in countless other bands. He performs comedy as absurdist stream-of-consciousness raconteur, Young Southpaw.